Live My Life

I would like to thank Zee for chatting with me the entire afternoon and night.

Anyways back to the topic, I been a pessimist before.You know being negative like for almost everything.The hardest setback is the day I confessed to someone.I thought I could get over it somehow it was harder than it seems.At least I am progressing slowly.

"Your still my close friend.You changed me and that I say thank you."

After the vow,I realized there's more to life than love.Although I been telling myself "I just want a companion".I then noticed what are my friends are there for in the first place?they been through my nonsense with me.They been there done that way before me.Although they are now either in a relationship,engaged and happily married (yes I have friends who are married) . They told me to enjoy being single, live your life being single before entering a new chapter in your story.

"God still made you single because he wants you to know there's more to life than falling in love.HE is still writing that perfect love story for you in hope that you be patient with him to let it publicize it for you later in life."

So yes now I am gonna enjoy my life being single.Look at the upside of it.I met my other friends who are girls had fun with them in which those in relationship suffers because of the the rules set by the opposite sex and the level of trust they have for one another.(I found this sad because I lost a couple of good opposite sex friends due to this just to save their relationship sigh.) Hopefully when I meet my soulmate I will be happy and proud that I fall in love with her..

In which my next blog I will write my values should i fall in a relationship.till then,

Cheerio,
Harris

LOVE IS EVOL

Yo bloggers i do like to share this with you..

Is difficult telling yourself that you won’t fall for her but you did.The way she look at you to the way she smile.It brings out those shivers in you.Anticipation,nervousness within you just to tell her “I love you”.Afraid of being rejected from her.Even worse create an air of awkwardness between one another.As a result you will lose the one you care the most.Friendship probably torn apart due to the word “love”.

Then again you may never know that she may embraced it, probably having those same feelings you have for her towards you.It will definitely be a wonderful thing.It may cherished and prosper and it may lead to marriage in the long run.Only if it works out actually.If it doesn’t it will deeply affect you.Mentally and emotionally.The feeling of not wanting to let go but you have to may really tax the most out of you…

Love for me is Evol.It outplays you through your feelings if your aren’t careful..You may end up hurting yourself the most in the end.

Do you think this is true?
Do think about it.


Cheerio,
Harris

Hariz

My Vow

Yo,

Yeah i couldn't think of any other greeting to greet my bloggers.But yes as the title suggest i am making vow to myself and to all the bloggers out there reading this.I am gonna change, not for the worse but for the better.

I vowed that...

I will be happy no matter how shitty my life can be.No matter what adversaries i face i will conquer it positively.This is my story and i will not let my emotions get the better of me.No more.

Somehow...
I do still think of you.Yes i do.

But..
I want to move on forget about you.It's slowly fading.Though it may be painful for me but i know it has to be done.Its got to be done.I don't want to hope anymore.It's stupid i know.So yeah,I will move on.Slowly but surely

Maybe..
Someday i will meet the one.She's there for me i just have to find.Patience is virtue.My virtue if i were to follow it.I want her to love me as much i love her.I want to write my story together with her.

Thank You..
Herwan & Mylia for pointing to me the right direction.For enduring my shits.I know i am the dude who sulks like almost 24 hours.The dude who's negative when you approach him.I just wanna say i am

Sorry..
I will change not because of you two but for myself.I wanna make myself happy.I wanna make you guys happy because i change.I don't wanna just say it i wanna do it.

And..
I treasure the time we spent together as friends..No as siblings.I couldn't say more.You guys are always there for me.For me i just have to thank God for making me meet both of you.Thank you.Your the part of my change.My new vision of my life.I hope our friendship last.

Same goes for you too.You know who you are.I just hope we are still close friends and the promise we kept.
You still mean something to me.That part would never change.

I love my friends.They are all the pillars of strengths that kept me going.

You and I

Yes you..
As i read back my previous post,i know i am lying to myself when i try to forget you.Girl your everything to me.Yes everything.From my hype attitude and to my sadness..To my sorrows and to my happiness.Meeting you change me.Changed me for being who i am.I never like someone as much as you and to be honest your the one who keeps crossing my mind.I can never forget you and the smile you bring in.

I like you for being you.


When you said that you have problem with life and that you don't wish to tell me i feel kinda sad.I want to help you i really do.Yes i may say "i don't wanna know what it is about" but in actual truth what i wanna say was "I wanna know what happen why it happen?Because i wanna help i don't wanna disappoint you.I wanna feel sympathy together with you" because girl i don't wanna see you sad. Like i said the last thing i wanna see is to see you sad.That is not you.Though i may not be part of our life but your still special to me.And that will never change.You know when your sad i am sad and when you cry i cry.(YES PATHETIC i know but like i said your everything to me.)So please don't be sad.Sadness is the last thing i wanna see from you.

Your my motivator,not my demotivator.

"She's the type that makes everybody go crazy.The type where she makes them crazy but at the same time stay true to themselves .The type where she can find joy even at the most saddest of time.Most importantly she the type where she pushes everybody out of their comfort zone and made them think why is there a success story in their life...:)"

Sunday September 11 blog post


The Confession...

You know after the confession, after you left, i cried silently. When you said you were sorry your attached, deep inside i felt hurt.I didn't wanted to show you how i really feel because it will be stupid for me to do so.I also do not want you to see me cry.They say when a guy cry for a girl it means something. To me it means that the guy really loves you.He really do.I cried because i love you but also that it was too late to tell you that.When i said every moment that i spent with you was priceless and indeed i treasure every last one of it.Our moments together is irreplaceable.And when you asked me how long did i love you?I remembered i said from the day i met you to this hour,this minute,this second and now.When you were around our friends i am like "oh shit she's here what am i supposed to do?What am i supposed to say?" .Hahaha the wonders of love it makes you do stupid things. If only i could hug you i will hug you tight because i would never want to let you go because your my everything..Though i must accept the harsh truth..

Your attached.
It's really stupid but i keep telling myself if your relationship do not workout, would i still have a chance with you? I told myself no i want your relationship with him to last till marriage and till death pull both you apart.(i will pray for that.Like i said i don't want to see you sad.)

My promise..


My promise is that i will never leave by your side.To always be there standing right next to you and help you,advice you and cheer you on to fight the negatives of life together whether it's mine or yours.


"I am still your close friend no matter what happens.Till the very end."
Sunday September 11 blog post

Till the very end.
I just wanna tell you that...

Girl, God has given you a beautiful soul.I love you.

I know your reading this and i am prepared to face the consequences of losing you as a close friend(in which i hope it never happens).But yeah i am in love with you.Moving on would be hard because your the only girl that i did something about it rather than saying it.and for you i will try.I will try.

I will try to move on.

I will not keep any secrets about myself from you.

*due to the contents of this blog i decided to keep it private.Only those who are really really close with me could read my blog.

Thinking too much.

Well i guess the title says it all.
And still thinking about it.I do take what others said seriously....As i don't mind they kutuk me but bitching about me that's another story....

Anyway...Today was great.I actually slept for more than 12 hours...I didn't know i was that tired from Blaze Camp..

Blaze Camp was great.Thank god it rained on the very first night and we move in to the chalet :D.My teammates were great.Won the Best group award...Celebrate it like never before...Learning that "a great leader must first be a great follower" was the highlight of the camp for me at least..I guess after that this it will be long for me to ever taste Nasi Laksa ever again..

All About The Shades....

Ouh so yesterday i went Raya Outing with my classmates.As usual i was late for the outing.The time to meet was at 12 noon ended up meeting them at 12 : 45 instead.Hehe i was just plain lazy to get my butt out of bed.(ouh typical me :D)

So the first house i went was Hafiz place.He's place was beautiful.The Bee Hoon was delicious. Heh though i didn't talk much, i was tired..The fact that they took a picture of me trying to catch a bit of sleep was simply hilarious...But oh well at least the food was just plain awesome.

Second House was Muhaimin.Though he's parents were not at home,we still had fun. Apparently Faz,Fiz and Min were playing FIFA 11.A game of the classic El-Classico was underway even during Photo Taking..I guess they can't took their eyes off the game...Btw if they were reading this i was secretly routing for Real Madrid even though i was a fan of Barcelona instead..Sorry.HAHAHAHA

The Third House was Wan's House.The first thing as i step in his house...IT WAS SO BIG.....Added to that,his infamous 'angry bird' goreng was just plain sedapppppppp.Ate his roti curry daging i dunno what..Still it's delicious...

Fourth house was my place...My friends were shocked with my room because it has a sliding door!!!Hahaha then i showed them my gerbil they were even more shocked..hahahaha.I served lontong..Classic?Hahahahahaha.

Fifth house was Eeya..I was intrigued with the building design cause it's old and that's where my curiosity strikes..Her house was cosy.The food hmm,The Mee was wet nevertheless it's taste quite good...:D

The sixth house was Ms Afni.Her house was beautiful..And i got to see little Ayra for the first time..She was so cute but shy..:( Ate Mee Goreng it was nice..Sabree and the rest were interested about the results of our examination but Ms Afni didn't reveal anything..Hahahaha.Honestly i believe the BEV has the most highest passing rate in our class and CPA instead will be our highest failure rate...Well nothing be revealed until the next semester but too bad Ms Afni won't be joining cause she be on maternity leave.Never mind i doa for her smooth delivery.:D

The Seventh house was Haziqah.The first thing that catches my eye about her house is the colorful design of the lights....Like a rainbow.Her house was the two houses ( since the other was Sabree) serving Western Food.Sausages, Nuggets and the Fried Rice.There i was eating a lot of the nuggets..(typical me).I think i ate quite a lot at her place.The food was amazing.But since we were on the rush there was no time to chit chat...hahahaha.

The eight and last house was none other than Sabree.So the first thing i did went i arrive his place was to ask his father i think whether that was Suji or not.His father said yes.And there i was eating it already...Hahahaha so rude but hey when i see Suji i can't resist must eat...So i ate Suji plus Chicken Popcorn.Though it was short because it was 11 : 15.So Hafiz,Liyana,Atikah,Muhaimin and Hyda rushed out..to catch our respective last bus and trains.

As always slenga as i can be i actually took the wrong train home.-.-So ended up i shared a cab with Hafiz and Muhaimin.Didn't know that Hafiz smoke.

Overall the Jalan Raya was fun.Hope i get to do it with them someday again.Pity that Rasul,Wan,Helina,Azira,Afiq and Anis didn't join us.It was great.Anyway that be it this afternoon.Maybe i blog later at night.Hmm

Till Then,

Cheerio
Harris

Decode

Hey,

As promised i will write this.

The person i liked is the person who doesn't see the bad the in everybody.She's the type that makes everybody go crazy.The type where she makes them crazy but at the same time stay true to themselves .The type where she can find joy even at the most saddest of time.Most importantly she the type where she pushes everybody out of their comfort zone and made them think why is there a success story in their life...:)

How i wish that was true....

Ok back to the main topic.

Hmm it's been three months since we met..Honestly at first i didn't know how to approached you..Because your face look damn serious and fierce.I am not lying very serious indeed.So i just follow the flow with the situation and alhamdulilah after like maybe 3 hours or so we started talking to each other and i couldn't find that period of awkwardness between us.Because it's free flowing and i felt like we already had known each other for a long time. So over the months grew by and we started talking,contacting and even sharing a bit of our problems.I felt like honestly when you enter my life it was the one of the best blessings that has given me.Which is you.

But

I just got to know your with someone now..It took most of my spirits away.Thinking of you was a bad idea and there was no way i could shook you off my mind.I feel kinda happy for you being together with him but at the same time sad for myself for not telling that i grew attached towards you..It's okay i don't want it to happen because i just knew it's too rush and i just knew you...Also i rather want us to remained as friends.The free flow sort of relationship that we used to have..I just gotta learn to move on...Slowly i am doing it.Insyallah i make it.I do not want to avoid you or make you feel unrest because it's just not my nature to do it.

I hope i can move on.....Amin...:)

One thing for sure....I am still your close friend no matter what happens.Till the very end.

Cheers
Harris