As i read back my previous post,i know i am lying to myself when i try to forget you.Girl your everything to me.Yes everything.From my hype attitude and to my sadness..To my sorrows and to my happiness.Meeting you change me.Changed me for being who i am.I never like someone as much as you and to be honest your the one who keeps crossing my mind.I can never forget you and the smile you bring in.
I like you for being you.
When you said that you have problem with life and that you don't wish to tell me i feel kinda sad.I want to help you i really do.Yes i may say "i don't wanna know what it is about" but in actual truth what i wanna say was "I wanna know what happen why it happen?Because i wanna help i don't wanna disappoint you.I wanna feel sympathy together with you" because girl i don't wanna see you sad. Like i said the last thing i wanna see is to see you sad.That is not you.Though i may not be part of our life but your still special to me.And that will never change.You know when your sad i am sad and when you cry i cry.(YES PATHETIC i know but like i said your everything to me.)So please don't be sad.Sadness is the last thing i wanna see from you.
Your my motivator,not my demotivator.
"She's the type that makes everybody go crazy.The type where she makes them crazy but at the same time stay true to themselves .The type where she can find joy even at the most saddest of time.Most importantly she the type where she pushes everybody out of their comfort zone and made them think why is there a success story in their life...:)"
Sunday September 11 blog post
You know after the confession, after you left, i cried silently. When you said you were sorry your attached, deep inside i felt hurt.I didn't wanted to show you how i really feel because it will be stupid for me to do so.I also do not want you to see me cry.They say when a guy cry for a girl it means something. To me it means that the guy really loves you.He really do.I cried because i love you but also that it was too late to tell you that.When i said every moment that i spent with you was priceless and indeed i treasure every last one of it.Our moments together is irreplaceable.And when you asked me how long did i love you?I remembered i said from the day i met you to this hour,this minute,this second and now.When you were around our friends i am like "oh shit she's here what am i supposed to do?What am i supposed to say?" .Hahaha the wonders of love it makes you do stupid things. If only i could hug you i will hug you tight because i would never want to let you go because your my everything..Though i must accept the harsh truth..
It's really stupid but i keep telling myself if your relationship do not workout, would i still have a chance with you? I told myself no i want your relationship with him to last till marriage and till death pull both you apart.(i will pray for that.Like i said i don't want to see you sad.)
My promise is that i will never leave by your side.To always be there standing right next to you and help you,advice you and cheer you on to fight the negatives of life together whether it's mine or yours.
"I am still your close friend no matter what happens.Till the very end."
Sunday September 11 blog post
Till the very end.
I just wanna tell you that...
Girl, God has given you a beautiful soul.I love you.
I know your reading this and i am prepared to face the consequences of losing you as a close friend(in which i hope it never happens).But yeah i am in love with you.Moving on would be hard because your the only girl that i did something about it rather than saying it.and for you i will try.I will try.
I will try to move on.
I will not keep any secrets about myself from you.
*due to the contents of this blog i decided to keep it private.Only those who are really really close with me could read my blog.